Biggest Loser, Part 10 -- Major Gain: Our House

By the spring of 2010, our family was adjusting to our new lives – one without the physical presence of a husband for me and of a father for our 6 children. We “successfully” survived the first year of my husband’s incarceration, but not without difficult consequences, emotional wounds and continuing losses. One of the most challenging losses was that of our townhome of 10 years – 10 years of so many sweet family memories including our season of homeschooling, special holidays and just everyday life.

In June of 2010, I received a startling legal notification in the mail that announced that we would have to move out within 30 days. My heart was overwhelmed with shock, panic and fear. I knew that our house was in foreclosure but I had no idea that we would receive such short notice. During this time, I was trying my best to operate in “survival mode” as a busy, working mom of 6 active kids, then ages 2-16. My first thought was, “I had not yet even packed one box!” But then my second thought was even more eye-opening, “We had nowhere to move to!”

---

Continued from Biggest Loser -- the story of one Mom's journey of hope through devastating loss.

---

I had thought there was no sense of urgency yet, as I was working with the bank to investigate various programs. The bank had assured me that the processes would take months of paperwork, time and patience. Now this 30-day notice caught me off guard, and I wondered what I could possibly do in such short notice. I immediately called the bank. After being put on hold and transferred multiple times, I was finally told that someone would get back to me, since the bank itself was unclear on the status of the foreclosure.

I realized that our housing dilemma was a serious situation that needed an almost immediate solution! However, an even bigger surprise to me was my blind spot of how much security and attachment I placed on our physical “house.” During this journey of astounding loss of my husband to incarceration, my full-time job and benefits, and now our house, I began to see how I was trying to cling to the possibility of keeping our townhome, whether through a loan modification or some other means. I knew I had to let it go.

I had to overcome “my fear of the unknown” about where we would live. I felt so helpless to know what to do. I recalled Psalm 50:15 which reminded me to seek God and His answers for this situation - “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.”

On a very practical level, I began to specifically think about, list and pray for the 5 most important things I needed to look for in a place to live:

1. A rental home (preferably not an apartment) which would not exceed 33% of our monthly income,
2. With an attached 1-car garage (for the cold and snowy winters as a single mom with young kids),
3. In the same high school area for our older 3 kids (so they could keep their lives as stable as possible during this time of chaos),
4. A move-in date in August (before both the school year and cold weather started), and
5. A trustworthy woman landlord (as a guardrail of protection – instead of a strange man having access to our house).

I knew that there was no guarantee that God would answer all 5 of my requests, but I was encouraged by Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I wanted to fully trust that He knew what was best for our family and would provide as He thought best. The older kids and I were a bit concerned, since we knew that real estate in our geographic suburb was very expensive and our rental home would be substantially smaller. Their biggest fear was possibly having to move out of the area and switch high schools – a devastating thought for any teenager, but especially because our kids were going through so many difficult adjustments all at once.

As I began to look for potential homes in newspapers, on websites, through word-of-mouth, and by driving through our targeted neighborhood, several promising places fell through for a number of different reasons. I was getting discouraged and felt desperate, wanting to just lower my expectations and compromise on my 5 prayer requests. Was I being too picky? Couldn’t I just pay a little more than our budget would allow or just settle for a male landlord instead?

Then, I remembered that I had saved the phone number of a place that I wasn’t able to visit right away because the tenant wasn’t home. I called the number as a last resort and discovered that the owner was going to show the home to someone else in 30 minutes. If I could come quickly, I could visit the home in the next 15 minutes – I didn’t want to lose another opportunity! I drove there immediately. As I walked through the very small townhome and spoke to the (female) owner and her daughter about the details, I started to see each of my 5 prayer requests beginning to be answered. I was getting excited, but didn’t want to act too hastily or out of emotion. I called a godly friend and asked her for her opinion. After listening to my 5 prayer requests and the description of the home and praying with me, she agreed that it seemed like the perfect match. She encouraged me to act quickly to review and sign the lease – before someone else did.

On Friday, August 20, I received the keys to our new “home” and that night and the very next day, we moved almost all of our many belongings. It was quite a production, as a group of 8 godly men from our church showed up at 7:30am with a moving van. By the grace of God, one family took our 3 younger boys for the day and various friends came by in 2-3 hour shifts to help with whatever was needed. Friends disassembled furniture, packed last-minute items, loaded and unloaded cars and vans, unpacked at our new home, and even helped clean. Another thoughtful friend brought us a delicious dinner – complete with the most decadent homemade cookies! It was definitely not the way I would have organized our move, but I learned a new lesson from God that day – that when I feel like my life is completely spinning out of control, He is still in control and will meet my every need, and then some! Through the loss of our house, I gained a very deep and practical understanding of God’s abundant grace!

The bank did finally call to apologize. They said it was all a clerical error and there was no urgency to move. Although we could have stayed in our previous home longer, I realized now that God, in His wisdom, provided a “new home” for our family at just the right time. Losing our house required me to experience another type of grieving process – a loss that has taken time to process and heal. But, as I learned in Entrusted, I didn’t want to worship the “things” in life (Isaiah 17). Instead, I wanted to intentionally “build a biblical home,” because I am reminded in Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.”

More to come...

Biggest Loser, Part 9
Biggest Loser, Part 11

**We appreciate and encourage your comments; however, please do not include personal names of family members in your comments to protect the privacy of the author. Thank you!**