A Working Mom

FriJul12011 PostedFriday, July 1, 2011 @ 11 AMByBetsy CorningTaggedQuestion of the Week

Dear Betsy,

I'm a working mom who feels like I really need to work at this time. My job carries our family's health insurance and our budget necessitates my income. How do I juggle a full-time job with managing a home and being a wife and mother? I am exhausted. I don't feel like I have time for tenderness with my husband or children. I don't feel like I have any order in my life. I'd love to be home with my kids but I feel trapped. Any suggestions for someone in my situation?

-- Overwhelmed with Life

Dear Overwhelmed,

I think you said it all when you said:

You feel trapped
You wished you were home
You're exhausted
Tenderness is compromised
There is a loss of order in your home
You feel that you must work and must provide

Clearly this is not a place where God would have you operating long-term. Your question even reveals that you are already reaping some unhealthy and difficult consequences. You must decide what you want to reap long-term. What are the real priorities and what are your God-given roles? Sometimes we have extenuating circumstances for a period of time, but this needs to be seen as a temporary solution.

Organizational tips can help us cope with higher demands or even everyday life, but they may also be just that, ways of coping rather than addressing the long-term situation. I have always found that developing a short list of "non-negotiables" every year or couple of years helped me assess whether I was reaping what I hoped to be sowing, and if I was keeping the biblical priorities that I chose for my life.You may want to read further along this idea by checking the following links for "Non-Negotiables" and "Milk in the Fridge/Gas in the Tank."

Your husband's role of providing for your family is a biblical conviction. (1 Timothy 5:8). If there is some reason he is unable to fulfill that role temporarily, that is one thing; but if you are taking on his role, you will not be able to fulfill your own role.

The Bible says in Titus 2:3-5, the woman's primary roles are to center around her family and her home. "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

We serve our families best when we can be resourceful within the home, rather than earning more money outside the home. You can trust the Lord to provide for your family without feeling like you have to be the answer. For some reason, you are carrying more than your share of the family burden. I hope it is only temporary. Even when Mom takes on additional burdens, she often doesn't get relief in any other areas. You will not be able to carry on this way indefinitely.

My suggestion would be that you and your husband commit this matter to serious discussion and fervent prayer. Also, please refer to Chapter 4, "God's Plan of Order" (pp. 87-89) and Chapter 6, "A Mother's Touch" (pp. 103-111) in Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

Warmly,

Please Note: This counsel is given from a distinctively biblical worldview, and therefore, is being offered with the assumption that the reader has placed him or herself under the authority of Scripture. Also, please remember that these answers are designed to give general parenting advice and are not intended to give specific counsel to specific situations. If you have extenuating circumstances, please seek the professional advice of your pastor, physician, or counselor.

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